there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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