worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
