If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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