so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
