You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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