Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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