i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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