Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
