Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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