when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
