I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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