I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
