Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
