Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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