i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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