I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
