i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
