Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do vagina's smell?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
