you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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