but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
