when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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