I am spending my child support on dildos
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
