shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
