this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
