u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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