the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
