i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
