normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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