now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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