her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
