big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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