im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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