Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
