you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
