Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
