so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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