He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
