giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
