in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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