I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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