i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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