White coat. Heels.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
