I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
