Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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