you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
