Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
