..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
