I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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