her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
