My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
