Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i think my tv is drunk
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
