What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
